Perhaps you’re working in a job or industry that you don’t like, living somewhere you don’t feel comfortable or even saving up for a purchase you aren’t very excited about.
I hear ya – I’ve been there. Like, loads of times!! Want to know a very honest secret? The first person to ask me why I had moved to Canada got this reply (the kind of honest you can really only give a stranger):
“I’d been saying I would, so then I had to, I guess”.
“Actually, I know I quit my job, gave up my lease and sold my car … but I don’t think this Canada thing is really want I want to do anymore”.
I wasn’t. I’d done it before – I moved cities twice on my own, and I’ve lived in other countries and traveled alone often.
It just wasn’t what I wanted anymore.
Truth is that saying that out loud and changing ALL my plans? THAT would have been brave.
Because for me, the really scary thing was that I didn’t have an answer to the question “well if you don’t move to Canada, what are you going to do?”.
Scripts – the go-to response when you are too scared to feel the “I don’t know”s.
So, here are my tips to start getting yourself off your script – they are not in any particular order, because your process will be different from mine. You might need to do just one of these, you might need them all. It could take one blinding A-HA moment, or months of journaling and meditating and talking … however you do it, that’s perfect. And remember – even the act of thinking about your script is REALLY DANG BRAVE!!
Here’s an example using my actual real life right in this moment:
Person: "So, what do you do?"
Laura: "I work for a bank"
Person: any follow up question whatsoever
Laura: shut it down and change the subject. I’m already bored.
Person: "So, what do you do?"
Laura: "I’m a Dream Strategist"
Person: "Wow, what does that mean?"
Laura: You’re gonna wanna sit down, this is my favourite topic so I’ll be going for a while ….
Get it? Here’s a different example:
Your script is about saving up to buy a house in the suburbs. You’ve said that a hundred times and accept it as fact. How does it feel when you tell people? Do you want them to ask questions, or do you want to change the subject? The next logical question for many people will be to ask you about your family plans – how does that make you feel?
Test out a completely different script for a week or two, or even just a day. Go out to a bar and try on a whole lot of different answers and see if you find one that sings to you (or course being the platinum selling Grammy award winner will be fun, but you know that’s not what I mean!).
Keeping with our suburban house example – how does it feel when instead you tell people you are saving up to buy an apartment in the middle of the city? Or to travel the world? Or anything else you might be thinking about.
Fight with yourself (but be careful – s/he’s a know-it-all!)
Pick a fight with your ultimate equal – yourself. State your script as your case, and then go back and forth picking it apart and defending it. If you can’t convince yourself, then what’s the point?
Why do you want to buy a house? Because I want to have a family.
Can’t you have a family and rent? No.
Why? Because that’s irresponsible
Why? That’s not what grown-ups do.
Says who? People
What people? Me
So you have to own a house to be a grown up? No, but most people do.
Most people have sensible cars, work in jobs for someone else until they retire and rarely wear rainbow tutus – since when do you want to be “most people”? Good point.
By this point you’ll be starting to get a really good feeling of what parts of your script don’t serve you anymore because they will be the ones that feel like they don’t fit, they don’t light you up. Those bits that still excite you are going to help guide your goal development and what I call “connecting with your big WHY.”
Next week I’ll be writing about how to throw out the script completely and start living on purpose, with Heart Goals and Dream Strategies. Exciting!!
Until then, I’d love to hear what you’re feeling in the comments below.